Fear of Overcommitment
Uplevel from "Can Do" to "Does Finish"
I don’t have a fear of commitment, but I do have a huge fear of overcommitment.
I bought my first house when I was 26. It was a dated house, and my goal was to remodel it myself to learn more about how to do all these “house things” that I’d seen my father and brothers do. I had no timeline set for the overall project; it was just my spare time project. And it was every bit as educational as I was hoping. Beyond learning an incredible amount about how a house works and many aspects of construction, the bonus learning for me was the repeated lessons on dependability, thanks to the assortment of subcontractors I worked with during my remodel.
There were a few aspects of the remodel that I decided to outsource: plumbing, tile, and hardwood floors. I used references whenever possible to find out about the quality of each contractor’s work before selecting them. But I never thought to probe into their track records for dependability. I learned the hard way that predictability of their schedule can be even more important than the quality of their work.
After a particular tile installer repeatedly didn’t show, I remember being particularly frustrated. The next day, when my plumber Terry came, I was apologizing that some of his finish work was still on hold behind the tile guy. This sparked a very insightful conversation into the industry. I said, “Terry, you don’t seem to have a problem with your schedule, but you appear to be in the minority.”
Terry nodded his head and gave me his story. “I know where these guys are. I was there, too. More jobs means more money. And it’s kinda fun to push yourself and see what you can accomplish. But then you end up overdoing it. And if you don’t notice it soon enough, you’re buried in your own promises.” I would summarize the rest of his explanation as moving from more money to enough money.
Overcommitment can be motivated by money, by status, or by a desire to please others. Regardless of the impetus, the same countermeasure applies: recognizing that the path to earning more trust with your team1 is not by committing to more things, but by completing all the things you commit to.
