Don’t Fear Feedback
Fear the absence of feedback
We had an Early In Career (EIC) group at Microsoft designed to help set up our new hires for long term success. We recruited junior engineers to design and lead this EIC group, and gave them an advisory board of senior engineers to support them in their efforts. I was on this advisory board.
I recall a meeting with the EIC leaders when they were iterating on their mission statement. It was a very lively discussion that included a steady stream of feedback from the advisors. At one point during this engagement, I stepped back to observe the room1. Seeing this meeting from the vantage point of the junior engineer leaders, I saw the potential for feeling deflated amidst the high volume of feedback that was flowing. I then began my next response with a little pep talk. “It can be discouraging when you share something that you’ve worked hard on and see it met with so much feedback. But just imagine the opposite: getting no feedback.”
I don’t use this line to excuse feedback providers. When asked to review something, we are obligated to provide balanced and objective feedback, and to be aware of audience receptiveness so that we don’t overwhelm. And there’s an art to uniting multiple feedback voices without “ganging up”. It’s the difference between “+1”ing and “piling on”.
Instead, this line is meant to pivot the recipient from thinking, “Ugh, I still have more work to do,” to thinking, “I’m so glad they’re helping me improve my message.” I used to struggle with absorbing feedback. I came into the conversation far more convinced of my precision and readiness than I had the right to be. The good news is that repeated experiences with feedback loops makes it easier to prepare for and receive feedback. That’s when you begin to see the true value of feedback. Continuing on this progression, you reach the point of craving feedback irrespective of it being good or bad. You now recognize the valuable honing that this feedback drives. The good feedback reinforces parts of your message and the bad feedback highlights where you need to direct your attention next.
Chuck Jazdzewski was a veteran engineer that joined Microsoft from Borland. I had the benefit of working closely with him for a good while, in which time I learned a lot from him. Chuck’s biggest influence to my approach was his line: “The longer I’ve been doing this job, the quicker I want someone to tell me when I’m screwing up.” This mindset did wonders for making me more welcoming of feedback.
